The Sydney Morning Herald said it was handed the tape on Monday after the people in possession of it failed to pass it on to Arabic cable news network al-Jazeera. It said it would make the tape available to U.S. authorities on Wednesday . But since I have insider's on the inside (pregnant pause for letting that one sink in) - I have obtained the transcript of the audio tape and share it with you below):
| Click (tape starts) - hissing sound.....old tape recorder with a fucked up microphone
Is it on? Can I go? Okay. Friends, Romans, Countrymen....lend me your - oh wait. That's not what I wanted to start off saying!! (Papers rattling). Mufatwah?!! Did you switch the papers on me!! Ahhh!! You are such a kidder!! You kid good!! Why if I was still the ruler of Iraq I would behead you!! Noooooo, Mufatwah I'm just kidding!! Where is my speech though? Okay. This is the correct one. I remember drawing this funny face in the upper left hand corner of the page!! (Sadaam starts again) My fellow Iraqi people (and all the women listening too)....WHAZZZUP?!?!?!? Miss me? Well - I'm still here. Sort of. Needless to say - I've had a pretty fucked up month. I mean, you wouldn't be too happy either if you had people trying to drop bombs on your head and shit!! I mean come on!!! That MOAB is a little bit overkill....don't you think?? Anyway - I just wanted ya'll to know that I'm behind you all that are still left in Iraq with no electricity, running water, or good food to eat. Tell me - is that Falafel stand on the corner of Sadaam and Fifth still there? Probably not. But if it is - run by there and get yourself some good eatin!! Tell them "Sadaam sent ya!!" Naaaa...better not do that. They may shoot you. Okay...I'm getting a little off track here. Look - it's important that you kick out all the American infidels out of our country. Well, technically it's my country - and I just let you live!! I mean - I am the fucking ruler and all!! I have my picture and statues everyfuckingwhere!! I mean come on ... it's... (He get's interrupted) Mufatwah: Uh, excuse me your most highly excellent one. Technically, they tore down your statues and your picture is only left on toilet paper. (Sadaam starts again) I know that you fool!! Shut up and let me do my job!! Uh - you ARE going to edit this part out of the tape, right? Mufawah: Uh, yeah - sure!! That's what I'm gonna do. Edit the tape. Yeah, that's the ticket! Sadaam: Good. Now, where was I? Mufatwah: Falafels. Sadaam: Yeah...Falafels. Good stuff!! (Batteries go dead. End of tape) |
