where reviews suck

All Suck Review Home
Archives
Music
Movies
Television
Random Reviews
So What
Submit For Review
Fan Mail
Something Diffreent

KJV Presents Home







An All Suck Review of . . .
Artist
Robby James Rabuck
Song Reviewed
Just a Dream
Date of Review:
December 15, 2002

Just a Dream

Before clicking on the link to listen to this...uh...koff koff...music - I had to ask myself "...if it is just a dream, what kind of a dream would it be?"

Would it be:

A Nice Dream - A Sweet Dream - A Scream Dream (otherwise known as a nitemare) - A Bling Bling Dream (otherwise known as Playa's gittin it)- A Wet Dream (you knew this was coming...uh, no pun intended) - or just your standard I believe I can fly up up and away in my beautiful balloon dream where when boy meets girl, girl falls in love with boy, then boy and girl make out in the back seat of  a '57 Chevy...

...and while using no prophylactics (condoms, rubbers, jimmy hats, whatever)...the girl none the less does  not get knocked up because they used the "pull out" method which consists of the girl screaming "PULL THAT THING OUT OF ME" when she sees the boys eyes roll into the back of his eye sockets.

Well, it was none of those. It was a plain and simple suck dream. Yeah....see you would think that a suck dream was right there in line with a wet dream.

Buuuttt noooooo.

A suck dream is the kind of a dream where you hear a track that has a tropical rhythmic feel to it (almost Reggae in nature) feeling the sensual breeze flow across your half naked body as you walk down the beech and find a young woman half naked (which is perfectly fine on this beach) and she asks you if you want to sit and share some of her rum.

You say yes, and sit with her as the melodic vocals of the band continues to play as she looks at you longing and you realize that one of her eyes isn't moving. You figure it's because it's probably one of them "lazy" eyes or it's a fake glass eye. Then, as the reggae beat pounds you into it's rhythm more, you get a little concerned because you are not really sure which eye you should be looking in while the two of you sit and talk and drink rum.

But as the rum permeates your liver...you really don't care since you are not paying attention to her eyes anymore and want to get some freaky freak freaky on right there on the beach.

You ask the half drunk one eyed beauty queen if you two could get busy while the congo drums beat providing a rhythm for your bodies grind to...then you realize...she is actually a man.

Gawsh....that sucks!!

Well, that's pretty much how I feel about this track called "Just a Dream".

Dream on.

ASR Home - Artist Links - So What - Random Review - Submit for ASRs - KJV Presents Home

© KJV Presents 2002-2006, All Rights Reserved (and a few lefts, too!)

Join the Blue Ribbon Online Free Speech Campaign